What DBT Taught Me About Leadership that My Leadership Program Didn't
1. When life presents you with problems, what are your options?
SOLVE THE PROBLEM.
FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE PROBLEM.
TOLERATE THE PROBLEM.
2. To understand behavior,
describe the PROBLEM BEHAVIOR,
the PROMPTING EVENT,
the factors happening
that made you VULNERABLE,
in excruciating detail the CHAIN OF EVENTS,
skillful behavior to head off the problem
a leaf, a flower
pay attention to
taste of each mouthful
notice when you have the urge to swallow.
When worries go round and round
Gaze at your mind
Try not to jump on the train
Do this when you feel lonely
4. Guidelines for Objectives Effectiveness: Getting What You Want
Stick to the facts.
Express your FEELINGS and OPINIONS
ASKING for what you want or SAYING NO
keep replaying the same thing again and again
No saying, "I'm not sure," etc.
the discussion even if it gets painful
Acknowledge the valid.
5. When deciding how firm or intense you want to be in asking or saying no, think about:
or you own capability
The degree of give and take
RELATIONSHIP shaky? Consider reducing intensity.
Would saying no violate
make you feel bad about yourself
regret or resent saying no
Do you know what you are agreeing to?
If NO, raise the intensity.
6. when someone else invalidates you
in a matter-of-fact way
Check the facts.
if you are correct or
Accept that it hurts
feel the pain.
talk to yourself with