10. What DBT Taught Me About Leadership that My Leadership Program Didn’t

What DBT Taught Me About Leadership that My Leadership Program Didn't

1. When life presents you with problems, what are your options?
SOLVE THE PROBLEM.
FEEL BETTER ABOUT THE PROBLEM.
TOLERATE THE PROBLEM.
STAY MISERABLE.

2. To understand behavior,
describe the PROBLEM BEHAVIOR,
the PROMPTING EVENT,
the factors happening
that made you VULNERABLE,
in excruciating detail the CHAIN OF EVENTS,
the CONSEQUENCES
Describe
skillful behavior to head off the problem 

3. Mindfulness
Touch something
a leaf, a flower
pay attention to 
taste of each mouthful
when 
chewing
notice when you have the urge to swallow.
When worries go round and round
Gaze at your mind
Try not to jump on the train
Do this when you feel lonely 

4. Guidelines for Objectives Effectiveness: Getting What You Want
Stick to the facts.
Express your FEELINGS and OPINIONS
​Assert
ASKING for what you want or SAYING NO
keep replaying the same thing again and again
No saying, "I'm not sure," etc.
Tolerate
the discussion even if it gets painful
Abandon blame.
Acknowledge the valid.

5. When deciding how firm or intense you want to be in asking or saying no, think about:
other
or you own capability
priorities
The degree of give and take 
RELATIONSHIP shaky? Consider reducing intensity.
Would saying no violate
rights? 
make you feel bad about yourself
regret or resent saying no
Do you know what you are agreeing to?
If NO, raise the intensity.

6. when someone else invalidates you
Describe 
in a matter-of-fact way
your mind
Check the facts.
stand up 
if you are correct or 
reasonable
Accept that it hurts
feel the pain.
talk to yourself with 
compassion