17. jetlag reminds me that it is midnight

jetlag reminds me that it is midnight 
somewhere
sometimes
it's in the faint orange glow 
of my childhood bedroom
the penciled-on pink paint now
apologetically covered up in lavender
my body is a dollar sign twisted up in sheets
but sleep is expensive 
i can't afford to close my eyes again
another dream in which i say things i don't
mean might be lurking by the curtains
the mattress yields in the middle where
the bed frame has broken and it
tries to swallow up my twitching
i let it 
as much as i can let myself fall into anyone's arms
slide down another throat
into another belly
let acid peel back my skin
Christmas morning
i wonder what's under there
if anything has changed 
or grown up

ethnic minority park. shenzhen, china.