12. and then the policeman said

and then the policeman said,
"你不是中國人?"
more statement than question
realization breaking like harsh dawn across his face
no wonder she nods 
but her eyes still panic
i stood there, rubber doll
dying phone in hand
scrambled brain barely contained by skull
signal nowhere to be found
in the pause before he asked me 
where i was from
i realized that the fear of getting found out 
never goes away no matter where 
you run away to
or what part of yourself you're
hiding
here, my accent is good enough to fool for awhile
but fails to fill the gaps in the Advanced Placement Chinese curriculum
so i fall between the cracks 
of my limits, 
pushed by my own lies
and how much i want to believe them

at the forbidden city, wondering if this wasn't the same wall i saw like, fifteen minutes ago