30. i am not in love with you

i am not in love with you
the birds outside my window are car horns
that silver layer coating the desk is not dust
my feet aren't cold 
     not even in these shoes
     that aren't falling apart at the
     soles
this paper has a fingercut
term paper was done five days ago
i slept dreamlessly last night.
when i woke up, i decided to be a pacifist with my past
    i've forgiven all the people who hurt me
it snowed in North Carolina & finals week was canceled;
so was the last day of this semester
     i get to keep this corner dorm room forever, with all the silence of the late
     night buses
​i'm not terrified of heights, the dark, or people 
    who try to hug me
and i don't miss my grandpa 
    or any of his songs
    especially since his body still lives at my house and his mind,
    busy being elsewhere
America is the land of the free & the home of marked graves
    a queer woman is President and she looks like me 
    no one asked her where she was really from when she moved into high office
    & the White House was painted rainbow this morning 
someone asked how i was doing today 
    and stayed to hear the truth
and most wondrous and splendidly excellent of all
i am still not in love with you