19. 10 things i wish i'd said

10 things i wish i'd said

1. no
    which is to say
    absolutely not
2. i'm sorry
3. it was me who wrote on the walls.
    i wanted to feel like a ghost but
    didn't want the consequences.
    please don't hit me anyway
4. i didn't mean to crumble us, i just wanted to see what was on the inside
5. get away from me
    you have bruised me for the last time.
    don't touch me, don't look at me, don't come near me.
    if you do, i will call the police.
    if you do, i will call your mother.
5. if you see me change my mind and start to retrace my steps,
    please stop me.
    protect me from myself. i don't know who is safe anymore
6. you are my kind of person. i'm just afraid
    of what everyone else will think
    i hate that you still stand with me anyway
7. when i said that i'd remember your smile if you died
    i really meant,
    help me
8. mommy, thank you for my double-lidded eyes
    for my perfect teeth
    for the leftover Toblerone and 
    Filipina throat, full of song
    it kills me to make you sad
9. to tell the truth, i wanted you to stop me from leaving
10. hey, can i sit with you? i don't have anyone here
    too