16. This isn't over

This isn't over
​because I'm still afraid of water
which is to say I'm afraid of sinking
or forgetting how to swim
and my toes touch the bottom in your shallow tides
I don't know if I will still float if I go deep
don't know if I'll still see the lights on shore,
     if I sail too far to know
     whether I'm closer to home or the point of no
     turning back
And yet, I want to see what creatures slither deep
if they need eyes to see
it's dark down there.
I'd have to feel my way around
which increases my chances of getting bitten
which I'm more afraid of than drowning
​I can still make a grave in the shallow end