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PARCHED ART

Somewhere, I am in here 
Swallowing my pride
And what you all want from me is
Gone
Underneath this sun
I felt this obligation to deprivation, stealing my soul
From myself and I felt my substance slowly slippin’
I hate this season for this reason,
Can’t move
Without nearly freezing
My extremities off like I need more of that
Drat, what’s that?  Oops—did I
Let another day pass
Me by?
Mouths flap, yappity-yap,
The cat’s out of the bag I’ve had
Enough of that apathy
You’d think that by now I’d figured out how to be happy but
You’d be wrong, I’ve got no right
Pounding on the floor, like
“More, give me more
Of all that cortisol
You’re injecting in your veins
While your brain’s rejecting all the small print
In these thousand-page books that aren’t even written by
The guy whose name you got to look
At every time you want to write about dragons and passions
But everybody’s like,
“You’re barely passing, it’s
Embarrassing to be average, go on
Starve yourself, you savage”
And you find that growing up
Means you can’t be truthful anymore
And I c-can’t breathe
When I don’t believe in
What the heck is going on there in the space through my ear canal
But, in my mind, I’m still defying
All those petty things and crying

Hey, oh
It’s hard to deliver
When it rains every never
Hey, oh
It’s hard now to be free

I worry in my hurry
Sometimes
I come undone
When the battle’s lost and won
And I find myself still running, hunting
For that substance that
I’ve been feeding myself
All this time
Fronting, wanting to go back to
Writing like I’ve always wanted
Well,
Can’t look at myself right
Since when did those eyes look so dry,
Lacking that fight
That I was famous for
Maybe I’ve forfeited, can’t muster it
Frustrated my dying art, rated
U
For useless
In this world
Not perfect’s not worth it, I realize
I spend all my time missing, wishing for
Peace
It’s outta my grasp
As if I had it ever
Never have I thought it better
To follow my dreams instead of waiting on them
I shunned them
And now?  Heh, it’s all
Just about as hard as hot dust
Packed and cracked on parched Death Valley floor wracked
With the gush of a thousand billion tears sackin’
My heart and my home and my life and my art
Till all my resolve is shake, breaking apart
I’m bracing myself on the floor
Out as I beat myself, defeat myself 
With handful of fears and hundred silent tears thinking
When will my wonder
Die?

And it’s like,
Hey, oh
It’s getting hard to deliver
When it rains every never
Hey, oh
It’s real hard now to be me, so

Somewhere,
I am in here
Swallowing my pride
And what you all wanted from me’s
Gone
Underneath this sun

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  • Hey
  • About
  • Poetry
    • Poemblogs >
      • Adulthood Starts Today
      • National Poetry Writing Month - 2019
      • National Poetry Writing Month - 2018
      • Storytelling & Storylistening
      • National Poetry Writing Month - 2017
      • Kentucky Collection
      • National Poetry Writing Month - 2016
    • Spoken Word
  • Voiceovers
  • Gallery
  • Contact Me