I’m at blue carpet washing over dust bunnies and dog hair,
over unmade covers and freshly-shed tears I’m at a place beyond crossroads I have made my choice to not choose someone who chose me I am at standstill Watching the gray-white puffs of engine chugging away from me without me My coach class ticket for two smothered by my fingers Someone once told me, "Stations always make me sad. They remind me of farewells." But what happens when stations are also beginnings and what if that’s sad too? The vast body of sky is my beige, wrinkled ceiling and its press on my shoulder blades on my sadness is heavy as this breath I’ve yet to let go, this uncertainty of staying put while those who love you go on I wonder if these walls can contain the noise my heart is making It sounds like birds singing I don’t know if they’re singing for freedom or because they’re free
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politic me boy
whisper-drag the burn of a fire you didn't arson blow me out like smoke, nurse the evidence frame as accident or ignorance as if the institution wasn't built as pyre as if the builders didn't know better as if the architects weren't your blood fireman scum save your sirens for a sleeping city i am awake to your addiction to steam in a world where people are 60% water i have lost the language of shoelace
filling in holes and lapping arms snug embrace, tighten my tongue tied not by bows or bunny ears or Velcro secrets hissing closed; no i am skidmark, silent reenactment of a joyride cut short footstep in the sand trying to make my way back to you even as rain falls fists blossom cheeks rosy
every day is the first day of spring budding yellow, blue blooms quarantined in corset embrace of a man that is, a mistake sometimes, to escape a storm you must shelter in meadow full bloom For their wedding anniversary we drink sour pre-mixed margaritas from whiskey glasses, cubes clinking brightly as we cheers to happy, healthy life, splashing droplets across the crinkled plastic tablecloth suffocating the dark dinner table, alcohol and tzatziki elbowing the cheap offenses and scornful laughter of the day out of the room, displacing the fainting sun, capturing like olfactory webs the whiff of mostly strangers passing silverware and pita like family.
The sick don't come when the disease arrives
the disease arrives and the offices close the offices close and the money stops the money stops and the doctors stay home the doctors stay home and assistants told no the assistants told no and medical school calls medical school calls and the essays compose the essays compose and fees paid fees paid and the bank account empties the bank account empties and mouth goes dry mouth goes dry and the phone stays silent the phone stays silent and the face masks go on the face masks go on and the coughing starts the coughing starts and has Spring come to waft away this fever, this
sandpaper cough and plum-sweet perfume of dying alone in a bloated ward where mouths twitch intubate him and there aren't enough behind mesh walls and bloodshot whites, this paralysis dream that stretches into day and night and day? |
KatA young adult. Archives
April 2020
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